If you find it hard to love your partner, you have probably not found out what their love language is. In search of knowing how to love your partner, you must first understand what types of love languages exist. These languages will help you on your journey to loving your partner the way they desire. According to Gary Chapman, the five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Love languages vary from one person to another and are a vital part of sustaining any relationship. Sometimes if you are lucky, you might end up sharing a love language with your partner, and that would be fun. Anyway, to understand our love language, we will be dissecting them in parts. Yeah, this is going to be our month of love. It’s not February, I know, but just go with the flow. For our series, the first up is Words of Affirmation.

Words of Affirmation are words either written or spoken that assure support and encourage people positively. This is the only love language that deals with verbal expressions. A post-it note on the fridge, mirror, or even tucked within pages of your partner’s favourite books or journals can go a long way. People with this as their primary love language feel happy when others express their gratitude for them. These words might not necessarily need to be said face to face; just little thoughts such as calling, writing letters, or notes will make them content.

Fun fact! People whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation tend to be very observant and thoughtful towards others, so naturally, they expect the same show of appreciation and support in return. Often, they pay attention to details and are probably the first to notice or remember essential things. For instance, remember that friend that never forgets your birthday no matter where they are in the world? or that friend that’s usually the first to notice your haircut or hairstyle? I know you do. So I think it’s high time we begin to appreciate them for their thoughtfulness and warmness towards us because, to be honest, they brighten our day regularly.

If you have a partner who shows signs of having this love language, you need to find the various ways you can speak it. Your partner needs to know that you appreciate them for both the big and little things. So here are some tips to help guide you.

  1. Show Empathy:¬†Unlock your inner intuitiveness and be more observant about your partner’s moods and feelings. Just knowing what to say at the right time makes a huge difference in their lives. Learn to understand their feelings and know how to brighten their mood and day.
  2. Say ‘I Love You’ Often: Sometimes, we get to a point in our relationships where we begin to assume that our partners know that we love them. That’s not a good habit, and you should break it. How can someone know we love them if we don’t tell them. Yes, they are aware that you both love each other, but ‘I love you’ from your partner slaps differently, especially when you don’t feel 100%. Normalize telling your partner every day that you love them; it’s healthy and will help your relationship be a happy one.
  3. Be Original: Your partner can tell when you probably don’t mean what you say. Remember, they have an eye for detail and are very observant. So be original and establish a deep connection with your partner. Be thoughtful about the words you use; when your partner tries something and probably sucks at doing it, don’t nag or make the situation worse; encourage him/her, and you can maybe suggest an alternative way to do it. Just find ways to be authentic with your partner; it helps your relationship thrive.
  4. Use Post-it notes/ Write love letters and Poems:¬†Everyone seems to be caught up in something and easily forget the little things that keep a relationship going. You might not be the most romantic type, but nothing says you can’t try. Write love letters or poems once in a while and put them in places you are sure your partner will look. It strengthens the bond of your relationship because your partner sees that you are invested in making them happy. If you feel you’re not much of a poet or a good writer, then post-it notes are your best friends. You could stick those on the fridge, the coffee table, on his Play Station or Xbox, on her makeup or body treatment space, anywhere you know they are sure to go to visit. Your notes can be as short as ‘ I love you’ or ‘You are always on my mind.’ Just do something for your partner that will make them feel loved.
  5. Use Shout Outs: Say words of affirmation to your partner in front of people. Let them know you are happy to have them in your life, and you appreciate every moment you get to spend with them every day. Be sincere when you do this and avoid using this negatively- that will mess up the whole idea behind it, so watch it!

There are various ways to share words of affirmation with your partner; all you have to do is be intentional about learning how to. If you want your relationship to stay healthy and last long, understand your partner’s love language. To help with some words of affirmation, here’s a link you should check out.

If you are struggling to find out your love language and that of your partner, take this quiz and thank me later.

I hope you enjoyed this article. Stay tuned for more from our Love series!

Love, urwordsormine.com

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